I haven't blogged for ages. It's been manic here! The last three months have been full of getting my youngest ready for college and, after her departure, enjoying the quietness of an empty nest. I've also been working on a blog that details what it's like when a child with special needs leaves home for the first time. I'm not sure if it will get published, but I've sent it to Mencap to see if it's suitable and helpful to other parents.
It's been a much harder process than I thought it would be and, much as I am enjoying the freedom of not giving myself to someone who needs so much support, I don't know what to do with the extra time I now have. That problem will be short lived I think, but in the meantime I am liking being busy because it means I have less time to worry if my "baby" is okay!
The underlying thing is that she is really having a ball, and that helps to ease the concerns that I have. We have had tears on the phone, but only once and that was because she wanted me to sort out a problem she had, and I couldn't. Well not directly. A short phone call to her Key worker and the situation was resolved. A short trip to the hospital to sort out her hearing aid and she was back to normal.
It's a learning curve for us both. For nearly twenty years I have been her main carer. The one she always turns to for help. We have both got to learn to let go. That's what life is all about. It's what families have been doing for generations, and why should it be any different when you have special needs? What matters is that she has the sort of life that will give her all she needs to be fulfilled and happy. That is my greatest desire for her. A life where she isn't stuck with an ageing Mum and Dad for company. A life where she has friends and a social life that is full of fun. A life where she can contribute to society, not just receive pity and hand outs.
This is the beginning of the future for Hayley. She deserves to be happy and recognised as an important member of society.
It is hard, but then that's life. As a parent I need to let go in order for for all that I have invested to flourish.
